Those who know me probably know that I am a huge planner! I love to have a plan of action, timeline, a plan B if plan A fails, and so on. With everything. This is sort of my default mode, unfortunately. Why does anyone ever repeat a behavior? It all comes down to the behavior being previously and consistently reinforced. For many years, it worked for me and there were many positive outcomes. However, growing into an adult, it has not always been the best way to handle a situation. Intentionally manipulating the future is definitely possible, but is it always necessary? To be honest, it is pretty exhausting. Lately, it has been important for me to learn the lesson of surrendering control and to me, that boils down to 1 thing:
Trusting in the fact that everything will be okay.
I know, seems pretty easy for me to say since I live in America and #firstworldproblems and whatever. Nonetheless, I believe that even some of those in the poorest nations would stand behind me on this statement. It just depends on their experiences and mindset. Maybe it depends on their desire to be happy as well.
It is important to ask yourself: have I ever experienced an adverse situation that I wasn’t able to recover from? The answer is no. The answer has always been no for me, at least. I have always been okay and I would say that I have really always been more than okay. (I know that some people suffer from diseases and traumatic experiences–but please know that I don’t speak as though my words are an absolute truth). You cannot always manipulate the future into being exactly how you want it to be. Taking this notion and growing within it has felt more productive, recently, than obsessing over what could be.
Some people reading are probably thinking, of course- let go and let God, and that is essentially the direction that I am going.
It’s about not always being afraid of the unknown. It’s about trusting yourself. It’s about trusting that everything will be okay. It’s about being content with where you are headed. It’s about finding peace and sharing in experiences rather than controlling all of them out of FEAR. There are some things you can’t control, and that is the point. You can’t control them. Having anxiety revolving around everything doesn’t help you. Some of this anxiety may stem from the ideas of perfection that are in your mind. Once this specific outcome is planted into your mind, it’s hard not to go after it.
When it comes down to it, I crave authenticity. I don’t crave perfect, because perfect really doesn’t exist. When something comes into my life that does not fit into my perfect little plan, I had to learn not to be scared of it–because how do you know that it is such a bad thing in the first place? Thinking in this way allows a certain amount of fear to be stripped away from me and with this decreased amount of fear, I feel like more is possible. It’s also very liberating and refreshing. It’s easier to just go with the flow and not let small things upset me. It’s easier for me to have energy to care for those around me. Surrendering Control has its pros and cons. I view it as a life skill that I will continually be working on for the rest of my life.
Thank you for reading! What do you think? Feedback is appreciated.