At least I’m not as fat as she is.
At least I’m not as dumb as he is.
At least I did not get pregnant in my teens (or at any other time).
I am not an extrovert.
I am not impulsive.
I am not good at making decisions.
Etc. You get the picture, right?
I’m pretty sure everyone does it or has done it at some point in their lives. Sure, it’s an easy way to make yourself feel better, smarter, and maybe even prettier, but is this the most productive way to gauge ourselves? By thinking in the non-affirmative, we do not represent ourselves as positively or as accurately as we can. If we only thought of ourselves in terms of the non-affirmative, we might lose a complete sense of who we are because we are only thinking of what we are not. It is time that we start accepting who we are and stop focusing on all of the things that we reject about ourselves. It is time to start thinking in ways that will improve the thoughts we have. Be real and own what you are instead of reminding yourself of what you are not (doesn’t that get monotonous and tiring?)
I am aware that this type of thinking is a method that is easy to use, and it can make us feel better pretty easily. If you have ever watched ANY talk show, you know that it is easy to look at the terrible things that those people are going through and just feel so much better about your own life. But does this really help? In turn, you could also go out and see someone who is really successful, smart, and attractive who you are jealous of, and get down on yourself because you don’t feel like you even compare. But that is exactly what you are doing. You are comparing yourself to others…constantly. All. the. time. Comparing yourself to others too much is unhealthy and unfulfilling. Everyone was created a certain way–so embrace it. No one was created to be perfect. We all have certain talents and lack others, and that is nothing to be ashamed of!
Realistically, there is no way to stop these comparisons or to wipe out negativity all together, not that we should. Comparisons are a way of navigating through the life and observing our surroundings which is necessary. I just want to encourage others to embrace who they are more often than embracing who they are not as a healthy means of learning about our self identity, which leads to a happier person. If you focus on who you are (as opposed to all of the things you are not), you can better choose where you go from there.
Let’s give this another go:
I am a sister and a daughter
I am an aunt and fiancee.
I am a musician.
I have perfect pitch.
I am in control of my actions.
I am obsessed with the idea of traveling.
I am open-minded.
I am awkward.
I am kind-hearted.
I am terrible with people when they are crying.
I am sometimes neurotic and jealous.
I do prefer to be alone some of the time.
I do my best.
I do care.
And this is enough.